1. Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck
Norris is going to kill you.

2. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in
half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.

3. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped at
Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

4. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two
seconds ’til.” After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?” he
roundhouse kicks you in the face.

5. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

6 . Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

7 . Chuck Norris only uses a stunt double when he does crying
scenes.

8 . Chuck Norris let the dogs out.

9. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris
only recognizes the element of surprise.

10. It is said that looking into Chuck Norris’ eyes will reveal
your future. Unfortunately, everybody’s future is always the same:
Death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.