If you’ve just played the opening set and the main band is on, the Finkelstein advice is to:

Make sure you show no emotion during the rest of their set, and when it’s done, walk over to the front of the stage, and say to their singer, “Nice set.” This is what all bands say to each other – those two words, and nothing else. It doesn’t matter if the stage collapsed, three people in the front row were trampled to death by a panicking elephant, and a mass grave was discovered under the floorboards, it was still a “nice set”. Always was, always will be. To spice things up, add, “Your vocals were too soft. Was your microphone on? Oh, and some talent scouts from Sony and EMI were watching, but they left after your first song.” Then say, “Later!” and walk away. You’re now free to go home, and begin planning world domination…

Mwahahaa!

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